So today, I was on my way home from work, and as I was nearing the end of a street which is right around the corner from my house, I saw a little black cat hop over a puddle and scurry off the road.
For any normal person, they would see this as superstition, or a sign of bad luck. For me, I always loved to see a black cat crossing my path. I get excited at the thought of it. I think these creatures are just misunderstood. Maybe it’s because, I , myself feel misunderstood. Every witchy needs their familiar. A familiar is an animal friend to aid their witch in their magical workings. Witches are also often looked at as these evil beings, when that is so not the case… not for us Earthy types anyway. So I can see why we identify with black cats so much… both so misunderstood… anyway….
I stopped right away and looked at it through my passenger window. It was hiding behind a telephone pole, but it’s head was peaking out, ever so mischievously, its large yellow eyes staring back at me. I leaned over from the driver’s side and opened the passenger door, calling to it. It just stood there frozen looking at me. Finally I went to shut my door, so it ran away, into the open yard of the corner house. I could still see the cat from where I was. It was sitting in the person’s backyard… just sitting there.. and I could also see a deer in the backyard grazing on some grass. The cat was just sitting and watching the deer graze. I drove off and pulled into my driveway around the block. I got home, went inside and threw on my long fall sweater robe. I felt fall in the air all around me. I knew I wanted to go back out and look for the cat again.
I left the house, and walked down my street and around the corner, back to the house that the cat was in the backyard of. Again, this is a corner house with no fence, so I can see and even walk right into the yard if I really wanted to. However, there were NO TRESPASSING signs all around the property, and it was in broad daylight, so I’d rather not make myself too suspicious looking over a cat LOL. I happened upon this property and the cat was still there. I stopped at the curb, and called to it… It looked at me like I was crazy after I meowed at it a few times. I felt like I was being watched so I carried on. I walked around the block a couple times, and every time I passed, the cat was still there.
As I was walking around my neighborhood, I got really sad by myself, reminiscing about how much my neighborhood has changed. Everyone from my neighborhood has grown up, and left. I am really the only one left around here. I was talking out loud to myself for my spirit guides to hear, and questioned WHY? Why am I the only one left here? All of the sudden, on this otherwise dreary day, right over my head, the clouds parted ever so slightly, only enough for the sun to peek through. I said, “Thank you for the gesture”, smiled and went on my way.
Then also as I was on my way back from my walk, I passed by a feather on the ground. Feathers are also signs from our spirit guides. They can either be a hello from the angels, or a sign to let you know that they are watching over you and protecting you. I wanted to pick it up, but it had rained earlier, and it was lying in mud, so I didn’t want to bring home a muddy feather, not to mention as I was walking and saw it, a cop car came barreling down my street, so I didn’t want to do anything too weird that warranted questioning LOL! I dunno, I am so paranoid like that. I was passing the corner house again, and the cat was STILL sitting there, ever so still. I decided not to bother it again… for now anyway.
I came home and went about my day. Avi picked me up for dinner and he drove passed the corner house to get out of my development. The cat was no longer there, and I wondered if I would ever see it again. We ate dinner and he drove me home. As we were approaching the corner house on the way to my house, I looked all around, afraid he would hit this cat crossing his path. It was not there… however , when we got onto my street, Avi screamed “BLACK CAT!” and I screamed OMG WHERE!??! He goes, “Under that car!” and sure enough I saw Mr. Midnight running passed our car and up the sidewalk. Maybe there is a reason I am seeing this cat. I have never seen this cat around my block before… It is the strangest thing ever… I feel like my guides are trying to tell me something… just can’t piece it all together just yet…
Well there is my weird story for today. A LOT of signs from my guides today, and all in the span of just a few hours. Signs are everywhere… you just have to be aware to receive them… And interpreting them is a whole other thing as well… I have to get better at that…
If I see this cat again, you bet I’m gonna let you know…
Blessed Be <3
So for the past couple months I have been taking part in these Full Moon rituals courtesy of Sage Goddess. My good friend Dena Miller invited me to my first one this past August (the 10th), to celebrate the Sturgeon Moon in Aquarius. This full moon is ideal when trying to manifest abundance in your life, and going through a transformational stage, letting go of any of those fears that you may have in your life, in order to become a more abundant version of your former self.
Athena (Sage Goddess) has you light your candles, white sage, cleansing your space of any negativity. She usually sells a ritual kit on her etsy boutique (they are pretty pricey at about $70 a pop), I mean it does come with some very beautiful goodies, including a candle with beautiful original artwork, a crystal set geared toward the purpose of the ritual, and also an anointing perfume oil, but if you are on a budget as am I, then don’t be discouraged from listening in and just being present in the moment with her guided meditation. You really don’t NEED tools, you just need your visualization and the magic of the beautiful full moon.
She calls the quarters, our directional elements (North, Earth; East, Air; South, Fire; West, Water) for guidance and protection during the meditation. At this point she has you do some deep breathing and then has you ask your elders and spirit guides to join you on your meditative journey. They should provide you with the answers that you seek, to help you get on the right path in your journey of finding yourself. In this specific meditation, she had you arrive in a magical forest and happen upon a river.
She has you acknowledge the texture, the temperature, the sounds, the visuals of all of your surroundings. She has you meet your elders & spirit guides upon the shore as they pick you up in a boat. She even mentions to acknowledge any animals you may have lost. I thought of my dog Scout and my grandparents, and Nana all meeting me here… During this boat ride you can ask them questions that you wish to get answers to. She has them deliver a word to you as well. After you go on this journey with your guides, they bring you back to shore, and you come back to the real world and become grounded again.
It really was a beautiful meditation, and I feel like I did connect in a sense. I feel like when you cry, that emotional release alone is connection to spirit. I do have trouble with visualization, which I definitely am trying to work on. But I did emotionally connect even though I did not feel like I received any valid messages from spirit. I had no tangible messages to take away with me, from this meditation, but I did emotionally release, so that to me was enough… especially since I am a bit rusty and have closed myself off to any form of spiritual practice for the past 15 years or so.
To top all that off, I charged my crystals under the moon for the first time ever. I had found a handful of random stones in a potted plant downstairs in my house. I am not sure how long those stones have been in that plant, I am pretty sure my mom put them there ages ago… but I thought they would serve a better purpose if I took them out, cleaned them off, and actually put them to use. So that’s what I did.
Then I admired the beautiful moon for about an hour with my binoculars. I really would love a telescope… the night sky is so amazing… It’s amazing, and it’s very scary… to think we’re the only ones living in the whole universe, among the millions of galaxies out there, is a very very ignorant thing to assume.
Anyway not to get too off topic here, but I’d like to talk a little bit more about the Harvest Full Moon which had just passed last night (September 9). I was a bit more prepared for this one. I had my new Joie de Vie Tarot Deck, which I had cleansed last week, which I might do a separate post about. Anyway, I laid out my Strength card in the center of all of my stones. I used my rainbow moonstones for clarity and enhancement of intuition during the full moon, my tiger’s eye for protection, my small amethyst point which encourages inner strength, and my citrine for healing and protection. I put them in a little circle around the card as she talked a bit in the beginning about the meditation she was about the take us through.
As prepared as I was for this, I still feel like I was way distracted to stay completely focused during this. I didn’t connect on an emotional level like I did with the first meditation she took me through during the Sturgeon moon. I felt very fidgety, often getting up to go find another stone, or another candle, or this or that. As prepared as I was with all of my tools, I wasn’t prepared mentally or spiritually to get me into that zone of complete vulnerability. I felt like I had my guard up during a lot of this. I did some of the solar plexus exercises with the breathing that she had us do, but I feel like I wasn’t fully able to tune out the amount of stuff I have on my plate this month.
In this meditation she had us meet our elders in a beautiful garden as we came to a well. We were to look over the edge of this well to see it full of water… We were then asked to visualize what we saw inside.. for some reason I heard the word “Rainbow” come to me. I am not sure what that means, but I am going to look into it. We were then told to take some of the water from the well, to FEEL it in your hands, and to picture all of the things that your elders and guides have infused this water with, whatever it is that you need healing with…we were then told to visualize tasting this water, drinking in all of its healing powers. Then we held our crystals in one hand and covered with the other hand as if we were holding them in this magically infused water, charging them to vibrate at their highest. I did this meditation and I felt like I was in a daze for some of it. I’m not sure if I connected completely,
I did not FEEL any sort of shifts or surges of energy… I really do think I was not in the right state of mine to fully let my imagination run with it… After the meditation, she talked a bit about the upcoming October Full Moon Ritual where she will help us “Cross the Veil” and communicate with our ancestors which would be super spooky and magical with Halloween right around the corner. I hope I can attend that one, we shall see…. After this ritual, I once again laid out my stones to bathe in the not so moonlit sky, for New Jersey had decided to cast a cloud filled sky last night. I was so disappointed I wouldn’t get to enjoy the beauty of this Full Moon, but I put my crystals out just the same, because the clouds have no effect on the pull of the moon. The moon vibrates and pulls the earth just the same, so I put my crystals and my dreamcatchers out to charge anyway.
So back to my not being able to focus this meditation, I told my brother about this, since he is a highly spiritual person (he’s been getting guidance from a spiritual healer lately.) I told him about my difficulty with the meditation and focus, and he told me I need Chakra healing, and that he did some Chakra healing on himself before he did his own Full Moon Ritual. I said Oh, well how do you do that… He said, “There’s a phone app for that”…
*This post is not meant to offend any one of any religious background. These musings are based solely on my personal experiences and spiritual journey through this weird thing called life. All negative and disrespectful comments will be deleted.
So I’ve been toying around with the idea of making a spiritual blog for quite some time now. I dunno, maybe it’s the fact that I am 30 and still feel completely lost in life. I have neglected any sort of spiritualism all throughout my adolescence. I grew up Catholic, went through about half of the Holy Sacraments as a young kid, not even fully knowing why I was taking part in these rituals…. I just went through the motions, cuz that’s the path your parents wanted for you. The thing is, religion can’t really be TAUGHT. I mean, yea it can… you can read different books that were written by man, including The Bible, The Kabbala, books on Paganism, Wicca, Shamanism, VoooDoo, HooDoo, You-do??… or any other book for that matter… but ironically enough, It’s kind of like putting a science to this thing you’re supposed to not see, but believe in.
Now before you assume that I am agnostic, that is very FAR from the case. I guess what I am trying to say, is that I have always looked at church as some kind of obligation. An obligation that you feel like you HAD to do, or you would be looked down upon, from family, peers, the church, etc. These people look down upon you and fear for your soul, for where you would end up after you died, because you didn’t go to church on Sunday. I can’t help but laugh at that notion. I would be punished because I didn’t show up to “God’s House”, a man-made building, every Sunday at the “Ungodly” hour (pun intended) of the ass crack of dawn? Yea. right….
I do remember one instance when I was about to make my confirmation in the 8th grade. First things first, they make you do an “interview” with the priest to make sure you know enough about the 7 sacraments, The Bible, the Church, The Religion, your Beatitudes, Commandments, who the Pope is, who the Archdiocese is, etc. etc. etc. You’re questioned, Interrogation Style… Like a cross-examination… and if you failed, you weren’t supposed to make your Confirmation. So I went to this interview a couple weeks or so before my confirmation ceremony. It was a very intimidating process, and if you ask a 13 year old those heavy questions… they’re either gonna spit out answers that they studied, without any inclination as to how religion should not work, but FEEL like… OR they’re gonna do what I did, and look at the priest like, “Um… I left talent show practice for this?” (which was exactly MY situation). So I left there feeling less than enthused about moving on with my peers to the next stage of “spirituality”. I didn’t get my grade right away either…
So a week goes by or so, and I was in my regularly scheduled CCD class on Wednesday afternoon, and our teacher decided to take us over to the church to practice and go through the motions of the ceremony. I don’t remember exactly how it came up, the kids were bugging him to give them their grades or something. He said something along the lines of, “I can’t tell you right now, but I can tell you that only one person in this class has failed”. Of course now the kids wanna know, so they bugged and bugged him a bit more and then finally he goes, “Ok Ok”… he looked in my direction and said, “Justina You Failed”… In front. of. the. whole. class….. Who does that? Who just picks out one person from the bunch and discloses their personal information. That information should have been confidential, especially in a group of kids who have NO respect for feelings, and poke fun at other people’s failures.
That was the very moment that I knew the Catholic religion was not for me. I was at the age where I was able to start forming my own opinions, and my opinion at this point was that I shouldn’t have to feel bullied in my beliefs… Beliefs and religion are a VERY PERSONAL THING… Which is why I was debating to even start up a blog in the first place. I’m a pretty private person when it comes to pondering things like this, and I only talk about these things to people who I know can handle what I have to say, and RESPECT my beliefs, even if they don’t agree with them.
Now I am not knocking what other people believe at all, and if THEY want to believe that’s what will happen after they leave this earth, then by all means… Believe what makes you FEEL right, and at peace. I just don’t agree with the preachy nature of such structured religions. I do respect them, and I will never knock someone else’s beliefs, or try to convert ANYONE to MY personal beliefs… I just wish some (I realize not all behave like this) members of other religions would have the same respect. But I guess that’s why this is world is as crazy as it is. No one will ever believe the same thing, and no one will ever agree to disagree… Which is why there is so much violence and death over what everyone else believes in, which is so unbelievably sad and disgusting to me.
If these people who are so offended at the THOUGHT that there are people different from them in the world, could just get past their personal prejudices, the world would be such a better place. Now I am not pointing the finger at Catholics for the suffering in the world, that is not what I am doing AT ALL… I am merely using them as an example in my own personal experience… but I am recognizing that there are prejudiced people from EVERY religion/race etc. Being bullied in a religion that was supposed to be my safe haven, it was so contradictory to me for the church to even behave this way. Now I did end up making my confirmation after my mom told off my teacher for embarrassing me like that, in front of my peers… but that was the end of my time with the Catholic Church. After that my mom had us try out a smaller chapel of the Protestant religion. I’m still not really even sure what that means, but it definitely was a lot more engaging to me to be surrounded with such loving people. They welcomed us with open arms, we attended bible school and went on retreats, etc. It was a lovely atmosphere. This church really welcomed people from all walks of life, and they still do.
However, such a structured practice of the church on Sundays deal, still did not appeal to me as I grew older, so eventually we had stopped going. For ME personally, I feel like religion starts WITHIN yourself. Praying is not something I feel comfortable doing around other people, so a congregation type of atmosphere is not ideal for me. It’s the same reason I hate going to the gym… I feel like when I am engaging in something that should be to better myself, it’s a very personal thing, and I don’t like feeling like I’m being watched, or judged for doing things the “wrong way”… and there are always those hardcore zealots of any religion who have SOMETHING to say about the way things SHOULD be done… Anyone who thinks they know it all about any one religion or belief system, and anyone who thinks they know where we go when we leave this earth because of what a man made book tells them, I just personally can’t buy it… Cuz here’s the thing… NOBODY KNOWS! Yes there are accounts of people having near death, out of body, gone to heaven and back experiences, but at the end of the day, nobody truly knows anything… we are mortals, still in our life on earth. No one can sit there and tell you that you’re going to heaven or hell, or that you’re not going anywhere, or that you dissipate like dust into the many farticles of the universe, or that you’re going to come back as a butterfly, or another person in your next life. There accounts of ALL of these things… but no one REALLY knows for sure…
Maybe different things happen to everybody? Maybe some people go to heaven, some go to hell, some come back as butterflies, some come back as other people, some disappear into the oblivion of the galaxy of some crazy 5th dimension. Whatever you believe in, it’s all very possible. Believe in whatever makes you feel whole… whatever gets you excited when you think about it, whatever makes you excited enough to talk about it with other like-minded individuals. Save your arguments and your waste of breath hashing it out with people who don’t respect what you have to say. It’s more than okay to have deep philosophical conversations with people who believe in other things, but only when they can be open minded enough to see things from another’s perspective. There is a difference between healthy philosophical debate and flat out ignorance and closed minded argumentative personalities. Don’t get too caught up in those fights that leave you feeling negative, bullied, or judged. Engage in conversations that leave you feeling uplifted and curious. Study other religions or belief systems, don’t close yourself off, you are only doing yourself a disservice.
It’s just important to find a path that’s right for YOU. I consider myself eclectic, and for the longest time, I thought I was just not religious or didn’t believe in anything at all because I couldn’t just choose any one religion that I completely and whole-y believed in.
Did I abandon the Catholic and Christian beliefs that I was raised with completely? No, not completely… I was raised with it, and no matter how much I move forward with other beliefs, it will still be a part of me. I still go to church when there is need for it, and sometimes there is a need for it… I also grew up studying earth based religions such as Paganism & Druidism which have been around centuries before the Catholic religion had even formed. The Catholics had actually taken a lot of their practice from those older world religions and passed it off as their own, giving the earth religions a bad wrap.. accusing people of witchcraft or satanism, which is not what Paganism, Wiccan, Druidism, Shamanism, etc. are about at all.. They are solely about your love and respect for Mother Nature, and using the natural earth around you to heal yourself and others, or manifest things you may need more or less of in your life…The negative connotations of these Earthy religions still exist today, which is very unfortunate, because they have nothing to do with devil worship, which is what most uneducated people assume. I also identify very much with more eastern philosophies like the idea of reincarnation and karma.
I believe that whatever you put out into The Universe, you’re only going to get back… What goes around comes around, and I’ve seen it happen time and time again. I also believe that we do come back in another life, maybe not right after we expire, but maybe if we haven’t fulfilled our soul’s purpose in this life time, maybe it will be in a next, whenever your soul decides to re-manifest in another human being, animal, tree, etc.,
Eastern beliefs appeal to me very much so, I’ve dabbled in studies of Buddhism which touches more on principals of spirituality and thought & meditation as opposed to a set of rules or principles like that of a structured religion. Also Hinduism and the aspects of being Polytheistic is intriguing to me, looking to different gods & goddesses to aid you in your workings and prayers toward the different areas of your life. And it doesn’t even stop there, there are tons and tons of religions to delve into, to really educate yourself about, and that to me is a beautiful thing.
I just needed to figure it out for myself. Upon all of my research and experiences up to this point, I seem to mostly identify with principles of Pantheism. I don’t believe in any one supreme being…I believe that The Universe as a whole is responsible for how things carry out in our lives… ( I have had instances with receiving signs from The Universe, but I will delve into those occurrences in another post at another time) … But I also believe that we are also responsible for creating our own lives within that Universe. So this year for me, has been me coming to terms with my Spirituality, and acknowledging that it does in fact exist, that it does beat in my heart, and pulse through my veins. I don’t need a set religion or list of rules to follow, or an expensive list of tools to help me carry out these crazy rituals (although it is much fun to collect beautiful crystals or tools of divination). All I need is the earth, myself, and the power that I hold within.
I do believe in the afterlife, in spirits, spirit guides, and all of that fun stuff… So I do believe that there is some weird higher and beautiful power out there controlling this weird thing called life…. Is it God? I don’t know if you can give it a name.. maybe it is God… but I can tell you it’s probably not some Man with a white beard sitting on a fluffy cloud.. is it even a man? Maybe it’s Morgan Freeman in a white suit? Maybe not.. Is it a woman? Maybe not… I think it’s all encompassing… it’s greater than anyone will ever know….
Justina is the creative force behind Bohemian Magic Studios. She is inspired by bright colors, nature, books, and movies. She loves cooking, arts n crafts projects, essential oils, reading the tarot and talking about astrology!